Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Thank you for waiting

I had a few things to take care of there.
Where do I start? Any requests?
To judge both your seriousness and my relevance, I will not be posting any pictures of Theodore until I hear from 5 people on these pages.
What do you want to hear about?

I could write paragraph after paragraph about my war against the passionflowers, but that's a short hop from extended riffs on why I like kitties. I could rip off Beth and begin a new feature called "Streets That I Hate," but that would be stealing. I could list for you all the items in my collection of junk I confiscated from fourth graders this year--but shouldn't I have given that stuff back? I could write about the guy on Harford Road earlier today with a fur hood and a bare ass, and I probably will, but someone has to ask for it first--and I've got a pretty good idea who that's going to be. Instead of outright theft of my wife's ideas, I could add a new feature where I retell her bus stories (which are better than mine, anyway) in my own words. That way I could make stuff up and it wouldn't really be lying. But, since this is Baltimore (see also: fur hood; bare ass), I won't need to make a single thing up.

I am, as you have noticed, stalling for time. I have a feeling that I will have time to think of something...


Blogger bookgirl said...

It has not been a patient wait.
As far as stealing Beth's stories...last time I checked, she did not have a blog. Thusly, if you help make her stories more widely known, would you not be doing a service to her, to yourself, and to the public at large? Or, you could request permission.
Or you could come up with your own.
The bare ass (story only, please) as well as the ever adorable Theodore pictures both have their...curiosity and charms.
Count me as one voice. Molly as another (she is sitting next to me on the porch as I write) if that's legal.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous The Wife said...

More pictures of baby, please!

As far as bus stories go, I think the speechifying of the self identified "Mr. Crazy Man" ("I'm Mr. Crazy Man My name is Mr. Crazy Man...") and other tales of transit may be worthy of retelling.

But I'd prefer baby stories.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Wife said...

Update: I just learned from my coworker that the fur hood/bare ass incident intersected with our bus ride yesterday. Apparently there was a commotion on the bus, and my colleague looked around to see what the excitement was about. Indeed, the bare ass guy was wandering into traffic, having shed the fur hooded jacket, but still maintaining the "southern exposure" as it were. I noticed the traffic wandering, but did not see the exposure. Synchronicity!

10:24 AM  
Blogger Portipont said...

What time was this bus encounter? Where was it?

12:02 PM  
Anonymous Beiser said...

OK, stop screwing around and fishing for compliments and show us the baby. You don't even have to put any clothes on him, if that's too much trouble. Just a diaper is considered "summer casual" in some circles.

1:14 PM  
Anonymous pete said...

welcome back. personally, i am interested in reading more nutty baltimore bus stories, anecdotes about teaching, and to see a list of the things you've confiscated from students. also, any updates or pics of cute babies would be greatly appreciated.

5:45 PM  
Blogger Portipont said...

It is just that no-nonsense surl, Beiser, your willingness to cut through the crap, that is so charming. But it's also the thing that makes me be a hardass about my five people rule. So far, I count four. Molly is a beautiful little person, but little people don't count, unless they can post their own comments. I am an elementary school teacher--I live by collective punishment. Sorry, all, but Beiser has kept us in from recess again.

6:37 PM  
Anonymous Beiser said...

I will not be blamed for this. You're lucky we even remember who you are - how many months has it been?

9:47 PM  
Blogger bookgirl said...

1. beiser's right, as usual, you're lucky we came back at all.
2. just wait until someone tells you your son doesn't count.
i'll get me another ringer, one who can type.

12:57 PM  
Blogger David said...

Show me the baby pix! Just make sure there is no fur jacket and plenty of diaper covering that bum!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Portipont said...

1. Beiser: in this classroom you do not get to choose the things you get blamed for. You choose your behavior, and the consequences follow.
2. bookgirl: one, I have statcounter, see, and I know that you all have been checking this thing for months, waiting with bated breath that today might be the day I return--and, two, yeah, my choice of syntax leaves a lot to be desired. I meant only that Molly does not get a vote of her own. She is still a citizen, mind you, but not yet of franchise age.
3. Five it is. Theodore is ready for his close-up.

12:02 AM  
Anonymous beiser said...

You choose your behavior, and the consequences follow.

Wow. And that is why I will never be a teacher. I would be incapable of even conceiving of that sentence.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Slimbolala said...

Six! Six! Six! Six!

4:55 PM  

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